But the holidays are more than just a time of year. They’re like a mirror, reflecting both what we value and what we’ve lost. And for those of us carrying a lifetime of experiences shaped by rejection, trauma, or longing, it’s easy to feel stuck in a cold, unending winter.

Thankfully, no season lasts forever.

Life Is Seasonal

One of my favorite quotes comes from Ecclesiastes: “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.”

It’s a reminder that life moves in cycles. Seasons come and go—some cold and harsh, others warm and inviting. Just as winter gives way to spring, the difficult chapters in our lives can lead to renewal and growth.

But transitions between seasons can be hard.

• The shift from longer to shorter days can feel like a loss of light, both literal and emotional.
• The realization that you don’t have the same energy or stamina you once did can feel like a door closing.
• The time between when you had a full, vibrant social life and now, when it feels like no one is around, available, or interested.

The holidays tend to amplify feelings like these, reminding us of losses like disappointing family memories or the ache of relationships that didn’t last.

Finding Hope in Hard Seasons

Navigating the holiday blues isn’t about pretending everything is fine. It’s about finding small ways to remind yourself that change is possible.

In answer to the question, “What is hope?”, Angela Duckworth, in her book, “Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance,” writes:

“One kind of hope is the expectation that tomorrow will be better than today. It’s the kind of hope that has us yearning for sunnier weather, or a smoother path ahead…[but] Grit depends on a different kind of hope. It rests on the expectation that our own efforts can improve our future. I have a feeling tomorrow will be better is different from I resolve to make tomorrow better.”

I once found myself in one of the hardest seasons of my life.

My parents’ health was declining, a close friendship imploded, and one emergency after another left me feeling defeated.

I stopped going out, avoided people, and let myself retreat into the comfort of four walls inside my home.

At one point, I thought I’d need some kind of prescription to get through it. But something inside me (a small, stubborn spark) decided to try a different path first. That was hope.

Steps That Helped Me Reclaim Hope

1. Starting the Day with Inspiration
   Every morning, I listened to a 10-15 minute motivational message. It didn’t solve my problems, but it helped shift my mindset, if even just a little.
   
2. Journaling Honestly
   I wrote about my anger, my disappointment, and my fears. Getting those feelings out of my head and onto paper made them feel less overwhelming.
   
3. Setting Small Intentions
   I didn’t overhaul my life overnight. Instead, I set small goals, like reaching out to a friend for coffee or planning at least one meaningful activity every weekend.
   
4. Telling Myself a Better Story
   Each day, I reminded myself: “This is temporary. Better days are ahead.” At first, it felt forced, even silly. But over time, it started to feel true.
   

Within a few months, my weekends began to fill with connection and joy again. It wasn’t magic—it was the result of small, consistent actions that gradually shifted my perspective.

The Power of Focus

One thing I learned is that where you focus your attention is where your energy follows.

Say you’re facing a dire or threatening situation. The tendency is to fixate on the thing you most want to avoid, which ironically brings it closer and faster to you.

For example, I’ve heard it said that if you’re driving a car that’s gotten out of control, focusing your attention on where you want to go versus the terrible thing you want to avoid, like hitting a tree, can help you turn the wheel in a less devastating direction.

When life feels bleak, it’s natural to focus on what’s wrong. But that focus can trap you in a cycle of fear and despair. Instead, try redirecting your attention:

• Imagine the kind of life you want to build.
• Take one small step toward it each day.
• Remind yourself that even in the darkest seasons, the seeds of something new are quietly growing.

In “The Universe Has Your Back – Transform Fear to Faith,” Gabrielle Bernstein shares:

“What we focus on we create—be it good or bad. …the stories we project on our internal movie screens become the experiences we perceive in our realities. We spend our days collecting information and images to support our inner movies…In doing so, we are actively choosing the world we perceive.”

The brain doesn’t differentiate between real and imagined sensations.

Have you ever watched a scary or suspenseful movie and found your heart racing or your mind full of terror, even though you know you’re just watching a bunch of actors delivering lines in a movie and none of what’s happening is even the remotest threat to you?

In this respect, the negative and fearful things you dwell and focus on can feel very real in your mind, to the point where they can ultimately overwhelm or paralyze you, shutting down your ability to calmly think of a way out or invite a new, more promising perspective.

It’s all too easy to react to any and every bit of information thrown our way, good or bad, through the news, social media or even something as seemingly benign as binge-watching Netflix.

Journaling and listening to inspirational speakers were ways I changed my focus from fear to hope.

Reflecting On the Year

As another year winds down, it’s easy to fall into self-criticism:

• “I didn’t achieve my goals.”
• “I lost my job—what a failure.”
• “I’m still single—what’s wrong with me?”

But the reality is that you made it through another year.

You learned, grew through, and survived things that might have seemed impossible at the time.

Instead of dwelling on what didn’t go right, take a moment to reflect on what you did accomplish:

• What challenges did you overcome?
• What lessons did you learn?
• What relationships brought you joy, even if only briefly?

Use reflections to set intentions for the year ahead. Not resolutions that demand perfection, but goals that honor your progress and your potential.

Embracing a New Season

Both the holidays and the end of the year can feel overwhelming, especially when they remind you of things that are missing. But they also present opportunities to pause, reflect, and reset.

Seasons change. Pain doesn’t last forever. And even the tiniest bit of hope can carry you forward.

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Disclaimer: The information and perspectives shared in my posts, articles, and videos are based on my personal experiences and reflections. I am not a licensed therapist, counselor, or medical professional, and this content should not be considered a substitute for professional advice. If you are experiencing distress, depression, or mental health challenges, please reach out to a qualified professional who can provide the help you need. For immediate support, contact a mental health provider or, if you are in crisis, please call the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at 988 (available in the U.S.) or your local emergency number.